My father passed away last Friday…
Posted: 17 January 2019 11:22 PM   [ Ignore ]
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I’m not looking for any words of encouragement, but they are appreciated. I just wanted to say he was my dad, role model, confidant, and best friend. If your dad is any of that for you please cherish every day your able to spend with them. As I grow older I have realized relationships are the most important, but can be fleeting. I have discovered new appreciation for my sisters, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews. I even appreciate my brother in laws. We all get so busy, and life is so demanding. If you can please take time to show those important to you how much they mean in your life.

No one likes advice. I’m not one to try and give it too often. I hope I haven’t offended anyone.

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Posted: 17 January 2019 11:32 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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Man, I’m sorry to hear that. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Those are wise words of advice. My family has had some things happen that have brought that into focus, and I’m trying to heed those words. All the best to you in what will be some difficult times ahead. Thanks for sharing your experience and wisdom gained with us.

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Posted: 17 January 2019 11:53 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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Sorry for your loss.  All great advice.  I don’t see how anyone would ever be offended by it.  It’s unfortunate but hardships and loss often provide good teaching moments and opportunities to refocus on what’s actually important. 

I hope this doesn’t come across as insensitive and I don’t know you from Adam so I’m shooting in the dark a bit.  But the best I can say it is don’t be afraid to let it all out and have a good cry or two or more.  A lot of guys try to stay tough and bottle up their emotions too much.  Heck sometime the man of the house sets the tone of the family and they need you to let loose before they can.  It hurts now but it sounds like you have a big family to rekindle relationships with along with a great wife and two wonderful girls to help you through the healing process. 

Take care.

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Posted: 18 January 2019 02:27 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
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Very sorry to hear that UNC, that’s tough.  Very nice message.  I don’t pray, but I’ll be sending out some good vibes for you and your family.

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Posted: 18 January 2019 07:39 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
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I lost my dad when I was 15 and I would give anything to have just one hour with him.  Everyone grieves in their own way and it sounds like you had a great relationship with him. You are very fortunate. If you are a husband and/or a father cherish them because you never know the future.  It sounds like you are already re-evaluating matters with you family.  This is a time of sorrow and reflection. It will get better but it’s going to take time. You have my deepest sympathies.

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Posted: 18 January 2019 02:04 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]
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UNC: sorry for your Dad’s passing. I think everyone, including you, have spoken truthful and heartfelt words.

I think that since my Dad died 14 years ago, I started viewing life a bit differently, hopefully for the better. I’m often taken by how important our parents and close friends are in our overall joyfullness. So, Take hold of the great life your Dad lived and his lasting impact on you and certainly many others. Allow his legacy to live in you and make you an even better Dad, husband, father, friend.

The reality is we all face his fate. So, I’ve been working to focus on being more significant and less on being successful. I certainly fail often in this endeavor but I pray to grow and improve daily. I wish the same for you.

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Posted: 19 January 2019 12:14 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]
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Ancient Orange - 17 January 2019 11:53 PM

Sorry for your loss.  All great advice.  I don’t see how anyone would ever be offended by it.  It’s unfortunate but hardships and loss often provide good teaching moments and opportunities to refocus on what’s actually important. 

I hope this doesn’t come across as insensitive and I don’t know you from Adam so I’m shooting in the dark a bit.  But the best I can say it is don’t be afraid to let it all out and have a good cry or two or more.  A lot of guys try to stay tough and bottle up their emotions too much.  Heck sometime the man of the house sets the tone of the family and they need you to let loose before they can.  It hurts now but it sounds like you have a big family to rekindle relationships with along with a great wife and two wonderful girls to help you through the healing process. 

Take care.

oh, man! I have cried. I have been consoled by my wife, kids, sisters, cousins. I was the only son and youngest child. My father and I had a special kind of relationship. We lived together after my parents’ divorce. Just two guys hanging out. What great memories.

Thank you all for your kind words. I know we are all here because of college football, but it’s great to know we have a community.
I hope I’ve helped to bring back some great memories for you that have lost loved ones. I have cried, but I have smiled and laughed, also. I cut back my working to spend time with my dad as he was very sick. I’ve decided to stay at my current workload. My kids are in college, but I can’t imagine seeing their dad here and there is a bad thing.

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Posted: 19 January 2019 12:38 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]
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Wow! You obviously had a wonderful relationship with him and had the time to live with him alone. I’m sure that provided an amazing opportunity to get to know him deeply and understand him and thus his influence on you. Time alone with a parent just at lunch is fantastic, but you had an amazing opportunity. I know it’s painful, but you were able to have a relationship many don’t get and will cherish that later.

If you’re able to cut your workload to spend time with your kids, then that is absolutely the right choice. I remember that you really gave up some football time in the past to play golf with family - kudos to you for priorities. There is nothing better and more rewarding, or important in my opinion, than time spent loving and appreciating your kids.

I wish you all the best in this tough time.

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Coach Frank Howard when asked to support a rowing team at Clemson

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Posted: 19 January 2019 08:24 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 8 ]
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I’m sorry you lost your father 98. I lost mine last July and while it wasn’t totally unexpected, you are never fully prepared.

As the executor of the estate it has been overwhelming. There are so many details to handle from taxes, to dealing with other family members, to funeral arrangements that it has been a real learning experience. I thought i was prepared but I wasn’t. If you are the same and need some advice I’m happy to share all the stuff I didn’t understand or have messed up.

I wish you peace.

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Posted: 19 January 2019 08:12 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 9 ]
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SoPinesHeel - 19 January 2019 08:24 AM

I’m sorry you lost your father 98. I lost mine last July and while it wasn’t totally unexpected, you are never fully prepared.

As the executor of the estate it has been overwhelming. There are so many details to handle from taxes, to dealing with other family members, to funeral arrangements that it has been a real learning experience. I thought i was prepared but I wasn’t. If you are the same and need some advice I’m happy to share all the stuff I didn’t understand or have messed up.

I wish you peace.

Thank you for your kind offer. My dad served in the military, and was able to have those honors at the funeral. He wanted to be cremated. I have the flag in a case with a photo of him and an urn with some of his ashes set up in my living room. My two sisters and I dealt with our mom’s death in 2012. My dad was very smart to sell his property at the NC coast, and put the bulk of his assets put in 3 accounts for my two sisters and me. This one will be easier, all things considered on the executor front.

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Posted: 20 January 2019 07:54 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 10 ]
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That is great that he made it easier on you and it sounds like you have more experience with it than me. All the liquid JTWROS stuff is no doubt nice. Hopefully everyone can learn that stocks and stuff can pass without probate thanks to those rules.

Property is our big issue as two of us want to keep homes while one lives in California and wants the money. It isn’t bitter but it just demands sales and liquidation of other assets to get her third. That is what has made it so hard when you have other jobs to do cause estates can be a full time endeavor.

My dad is going to Arlington so that also takes almost a year. The funeral home knew how to set it all up though which was very helpful. I’m gonna line all my stuff up so my kids don’t hve to deal with as much. I think my dad thought he had a few more years so while it was better than many estates his size according to the lawyer, there were still some loose ends that could have been tied up. I guess that’s what I’m for.

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