11 Things to do for Kickoff
By Devan Scott
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These 11 tips will ensure that you have an enjoyable gameday experience.
With kickoff weekend FINALLY here, I put together a list of some fun ideas for things to do on top of your normal shenanigans. Many of these you can do for any tailgate or game weekend, this just seemed like the best time to roll them out. Feel free to add other suggestions in the comments; we can all learn new tailgate vices from each other.
Eat Your Opponent’s Mascot
DISCLAIMER: DO NOT TAKE THIS LITERALLY (The fact that LSU fans read this site means I have to add that). Figure out what your opponent’s mascot is and grill (or deep fry) the living crap out of the animal until it’s delicious. This works best if you are playing Arkansas, Florida, or South Carolina. Playing Boston College, Elon, or Georgia Tech could pose legal, logistical, or taste based problems.
I know I don’t have to tell most of you to do this, but there is a special section of this for the purpose of this article. Especially if you are traveling to see your team on the road, find a local beer you can’t find at home and try it. Some suggestions: Florida - Cigar City Brewing, Georgia – Terrapin Brewing (Get Hopsecutioner, you can thank me later), Wake Forest/UNC/NC ST/Duke – Red Oak, Vanderbilt – Yazoo
Ponder Johnny Manziel
Johnny Football is suspended for a half. A WHOLE HALF. AGAINST RICE. Instead of being sad that he’s not on the field, think about how entertaining he is off the field. Then imagine all of the shenanigans he could get into if he wasn’t standing on the sideline for that half (this also makes a fun road trip game).
Get Way Too Over Optimistic About Your Team This Year
This is an especially important time of the year for every fan of a team that didn’t perform quite as well as those ESPN folk got you hyped up for (Read: Florida State, Every. Freaking. Year.) or the fans who got REALLY good at excuses about 10 months ago (That’s like Mizzou’s thing). So toast your new quarterback, running back, coach, coordinator, “impact freshman”, or whatever, it’s unlikely they’ll ever be as good in your opinion as they are now.
This is really gonna be where (Dan Mullen, Aaron Murray, Dabo Swinney) finally takes us to that next level, we’ve been so close lately! Or in the alternative (Gus Malzahn, Bret Bielema, Butch Jones) is gonna get those boys in shape and we’ll be champions soon!
Discuss the James Franklin Paradox
Okay, so it’s not really a paradox. Lots of people are named James. Franklin is a common last name. It’s just intriguing one happens to be the coach at Vanderbilt and one is quarterbacking Mizzou in the same division on teams that have essentially the same colors. Both teams historically (although this has changed recently) were not powerhouse football programs. Okay, so maybe it’s a little freaky. Are they the same person? Are they related? Aliens? Also, debate who would be better at the other one’s job.
Photograph Yourself and Friends Tailgating
That blurry camera that’s attached to your phone? It’s not just for indiscriminately instagramming food anymore! Just make sure they’re tasteful and don’t incriminate your friends too much. Or do the total opposite, that’s probably more fun. Plus…blackmail. After sifting through and finding the best pictures, be sure to enter our Tailgater of the Week competition (you can win stuff!).
Realize How Much Better College Is Than the NFL
If you’re reading this website, you obviously already know this fact. Yes, it’s a fact, not an opinion; the Supreme Court decided this over the summer in the landmark case of Saban v Goodell. From the ambiance, to the nostalgia of being on a college campus, to the um, other scenery, there is nothing like a college football game. You know it. I know it. Do your friends know it? See if you can convince one of your NFL elitist friends that college is better.
Bonus points if it’s that jerk Brian who only likes the NFL more because he’s super into fantasy sports and not, you know, football.
Mock the NCAA
What. A. Mess. Every school has a reason to hate them. Whether they punished your school in an unduly harsh way, gave a slap on the wrist to someone for a major violation (oh, those players from An Ohio State University that are totally coming back still get to play in their bowl game since they said they’d come back next season and serve their suspensions?), or just can’t even grasp the tenets of how their organization is supposed to be run (They found Manziel didn’t do anything…but he’s suspended half a game?) they’re ripe for the picking. Who cares if everyone knows how weak they are. Hurt them. That’s what Saban would do. Here’s a starting topic for you: Ole Miss isn’t even trying to hide the recruiting violations (Lay on the hate mail Oxford people).
Challenge An Opposing Tailgater To Something
Cornhole/Bags, Ladder Golf, chugging, a footrace, Candy Crush, SOMETHING (preferably something you’re good at). There is nothing quite like a little pre-competition competition. It gets everyone in the spirit. Speaking of everyone, get a giant crowd from both sides around to witness your event. You will be the hero of your entire team’s tailgate base when you take home the victory. Unless you mess up. But you won’t. Especially after you read that sentence about messing up. Don’t think about it. Am I in your head? * As a personal advocate of this I feel the need to share a story, last year I took on a group of Georgia fans with some friends in flip cup with the caveat that the starters had to headbutt. I won the headbutt, the team won flip cup, and we were given free beer at that tailgate and the next one. Trust me, this is a good idea.
** Do not challenge App St fans to chugging contests. You will lose.
Imagine Athletes Playing Other (Obscure Is More Fun) Sports
How good would Zach Mettenberger be as a tennis player? Did Jesse Williams teach Cyrus Kouandijo to play rugby? Is EJ Gaines a natural at team handball? Which linebacker would be best at the biathlon? This game gets really fun after awhile and will annoyingly pop up in your brain sometime during the game. You’re welcome.
Discuss/Tweet This Article To Your Friends
Shameless self promotion. Not sorry. You guys can complain about how I haven’t mentioned Kentucky yet in this article.