By Christian Goeckel
SouthernPigskin.com

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Christian Goeckel shares memories of what college football means to he and his family.

Parents do their best to teach their children lessons about life, but its through osmosis that kids absorb the most information. Mannerisms, habits, food preferences, all learned by simply watching their parents.

Thats how my sisters and I became Georgia fans. Watching the Bulldogs with our dad.

Saturdays in the fall were a holy day for my dad, much like they are for millions of people in the South; Georgia games were mass.

Theres an old saying: cChildren are to be seen and not heard.d Dad had his own version when Georgia came on: cYall can be in here, but you better be quiet.d

Dad was a teacher and a coach, and I attended the high school he taught, which was over an hour away from our home. Those two-plus hours in the car were spent listening to sports talk (music rarely made an appearance) and talking about Georgia football.

Along with notes from former students, his classroom walls were adorned with laminated Atlanta Journal-Constitution sports pages from Georgias biggest wins. Students loved to talk trash to him when Georgia lost, and he gave it right back when the Dawgs came out on top.

It was a given that his obsession would be passed on to me (my sisters have a much healthier relationship with college football than I do). Now, it wasnt just Georgia. He also blessed (cursed?) me with a fandom of the Braves and Falcons. And it was in sports that we found our common ground.

He loved referring to the Braves as a c.500 baseball teamd and was a tortured Falcons fan.

This one, with the Falcons, still makes me laugh to this day. There was a Nike commercial during the peak of Michael Vicks career where people could hop on a ride called cThe Mike Vick Experienced and be whipped around on this rollercoaster-esque ride on a virtual football field, simulating what it was like to be Vick on the field. My dad loved it. He started lovingly referring to Falcons games as cThe Mike Vick Experienced. One Sunday, following a church service, our pastor stopped my dad as he was trying to hurry us to the car. It was just after noon and kickoff was at 1pm.

The pastor came up to my dad saying cPat, I want you to meetxa6d. Defeated, my dad looked at me, sighing, cBut the Mike Vick experience.d

Pat Goeckel, my dad, died a year ago.

Theres no proper way to describe losing a parent. Over these past 365 days Ive experienced so many different emotions: pain, grief, anger, hollowness, regret. All making random appearances.

A friend who had lost her father at a young age summed it up as cwavesd, and that couldnt be more true. The memories hit you at random moments, and all of a sudden youre overcome with emotion while sitting at your desk at the office.

My biggest fear has been forgetting him. Forgetting the moments that he probably didnt realize would stick with me for this long.

In cSaving Private Ryand, Matt Damons character is trying, in grief, to remember his deceased brothers’ faces. Tom Hanks character tells him: cYou got to think of a contextxa6You dont just think about their faces, think about something specific. Something youve done together.d

So many of my favorite moments with him revolved around Georgia football. Here are a few of my favorites:

cWe lost. Holy **** we lost.d

My dad coached club soccer during the fall. He was typically good at making sure his teams games were scheduled before the Georgia game, but sometimes things just didnt work out that way. I was with him on one such day in 2009. Georgia was playing Kentucky in Athens and we sprinted to the car to try to catch Larry Munson and the end of the game. Boy did we. As soon as the radio clicked on we heard Larry, in the way only Larry could, describe the final snap of the game. Something along the lines of: cTheyre going to take a knee at midfield. Theres the snap. The quarterback holds the ball above his head in triumph. Sanford Stadium and the Dawgs are stunned.d Kentucky had upset Georgia in Athens 34-27. My dad gazed out over the ever-emptying parking lot, hands falling into his lap, and muttered: cWe lost. Holy **** we lost.d Im still not sure if he was talking to me or the universe.

cWere going to lose this game.d

I was raised on Paul Newman movies. I could quote cCool Hand Luked, cRoad to Perditiond and cThe Hustlerd all before the age of 12. On September 27, 2008, 8th-ranked Alabama was in Athens to take on 3rd-ranked Georgia. The Dawgs had been preseason number one and were helmed by Matt Stafford and Knowshon Moreno. We woke up early, and, like every other Saturday, we turned on College GameDay. As we watched, taking in the sights from Athens, a cBREAKING NEWSd graphic appeared on ESPNs bottom scroll: Paul Newman had died at 83. On the couch, my dad sunk back into the cushions. Again, either to the universe or me, he said: cWere going to lose this game.d Alabama, of course, would jump out to a 31-point halftime lead, absolutely dominating Georgia and setting up their current run of dominance across college football. Im not saying Paul Newmans death had anything to do with the results that night in Athens, but my fathers prophecy did hold true.

cShe had to go.d

At some point while I was off at college, dad started dating. Both of my sisters were in school, and it just seemed like a good time. My sisters and I were at his place one Saturday to watch the game with him (remember the rule on silence during games) and his current significant other was there with him. She was…excitable? Enthusiastic? All of the above. Things like, cOh, this should be such a good game!d, cWho are they playing?d, cDoes anyone want any food?d, cCan you turn it down for a minute?d were thrown around during the first quarter. My sisters and I, not speaking a word, were making eye contact the entire time, wondering when the inevitable was going to happen. We were worried. Dad was just sitting on the couch, leaning forward with his elbows propped on his knees, and his chin on his clenched hands. The human embodiment of tension. This poor soul had no idea she was breaking so many unspoken rules. Eventually, during a commercial break, dad gently walked her outside. More eye contact between my sisters and I. A minute later, he walked back in. Alone. Sitting back down he explained she simply chad to go.d Their relationship didnt last much longer. Just wasnt meant to be.

Getting Sick

Dad got really sick in 2016. Dealing with multiple health issues, he spent a long time in the hospital. Luckily there was something that could keep his spirits up. You guessed it: Georgia football.

He watched a large portion of Georgias 2017 season from a hospital bed. When Georgia made it to the SEC Championship, my sisters went to the hospital to watch the game with him. He was nervous, not about the game, but about his treatments. They were supposed to happen in the morning, but, as the morning turned into afternoon, the nurses still hadnt come to get him. cTheyre going to come up here to get me during the middle of the game,d he told my sisters. cI just know it.d

Eventually the game kicked off, with Georgia trying to avenge an earlier loss to Auburn and win their first SEC championship since 2005.

Late in the 2nd quarter, with Georgia and Auburn knotted-up at 7-7, a knock came at the door. It was time for him to receive his treatment. My sisters were able to text him updates, with Georgia going on to win 28-7, eventually advancing to the College Football Playoff Final.

Moving Forward

Im so grateful to my dad for passing on his obsession to me. It led me to a career I love.

I may be even more obsessed than he was. To this day, I have to watch games alone. Im miserable to be around.

That being said, prior to Georgia and Clemson kicking off in Charlotte, a revelation swept over me as I stood in front of my TV; Im not alone. My dad is with me. Hell always be with me. Especially when cthose Gs lean forwardd.

Sitting here, a year removed from his death, I dont know that Ive gained any perspective, and it certainly doesnt hurt any less. But I can offer you this advice: Go hug your loved ones. No matter what youre going through or what youre fighting about, hug them. All the disagreements are so small when compared to forever.

Go see your parents. Watch the game. Just be sure to be quiet.